Monday, April 10, 2006

Computer wins!!


I have to abandon my computer a little bit and live a little more!!

About Love, Sex, and the petty details

If singleness is worthy for something is to think about all that things we don't wanna think about when we are coupled and/or in love , because those remove the issue's charm, itsn't it?

The truth is that the LOVE, as marvellous and fantastic as it looks to us, many times is nothing more that a join of circumstances that lead you to blindness. Are those PETTY DETAILS like the scent of his clothes, the way he touch your hand, the dimple that appears in his face when is smiling, and that song he played in the car while he was taking you home (and that's also your favorite) the ones that make that step by step you are dropping into a vicious circle of exaltation of his virtues and nescience of his faults... those will appear once it's very difficult to take this person out of your head. If you realize many times we met our better half in the most unexpected place. Our neighbour, your brother's friend, the boss's daughter... what a coincidence, isn't it? What a blessing that of the almost 6,000 million people that populate the planet you've been so lucky to find your unique and irreplaceable ideal couple... forever and ever.

Of course in this stuff SEX has a major role. Why do we just fit perfectly with some people and with some others everything turns into a comic trying of coordination???? Who knows, but that's the fact. And as all of us know, operate at bed means happyness in the couple, to wake up with a smile that floods your face despite you haven't sleep at all during the night. what a curious thing. I would say that those PETTY DETAILS I was talking about before play a role in here too. Where he put his hands on you, how his breath smells, how yearns, if he is looking in your eyes and in which face, and a a veeeeery loooong etcetera.. Do you really think that the size matters so much??? I will set like 50 PETTY DETAILS over the size, seriously.

And finally, the LOVE, something so spiritual, so high, and based on pillars as robust as personality, character, ethics and personal moral systems, and oneself's life philosophy... How is the possible that so commonly SEX turn into LOVE and LOVE into SEX, and all that depends only on a few PETTY DETAILS totally uncontrollable???? Whay don't you lije that one that factually is the man of your life and all the same you loose your underpants for the last person you will stay with? Why that person you inhabit your dreams with disappeared of your head and guts after that first and fatidical pitiful screw? Why that one you shagged last night (and that made you see the moon seas in the back seat of his car) looks more and more like the kind of person you need to be happy, and you can avoid to swallow saliva when he simply ring in your mobile phone? Though you instantly think: "Buaf, what would want this one now...?" Let's not to cheat ourselves, the physical defeat us, the exquisite quiddities that impede us control the feelings, and thinking about it will change nothing. NOTHING.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Psicoloca

That's me!! Here comes a brief introduction of myself for those of you that doesn't know me. I'm a Psicoloca. Sorry about the term, it makes little sense in english but in spanish is a mixture of two words: Psychologist and Crazy Woman. That's what I am.

I'm finishing my degree in Pshychology this year and on so fullfilling the topic of the students of Psychology at last: I'm going crazy, after all. People use to say that studing about human's mind will make you crazy and I used to reply that in my faculty there is plenty of eccentric ones... But that the most of the people are normal students not concerned with the limits of human understanding of life and philosophical mindtraps. But, step by step, I let myself be caught in this paranoia and now I'm enjoying it. Observation of every movement, every thought on people's mind is my pleasure, and guessing what's gonna happen next and what one is gonna say or think about something is delicious!! Ha ha ha!! I love to create hypothesis about thinking by digging on my own mind and exchanging ideas with the other thinkers... So, let's do it!!

I love travelling and mixing cultures, I love to read, cinema, manga comics and all sorts of music. My life is a circus and I'm seriously preparing a book. Next year I will start PhD studies in Neuropsychology that will most probably lead me to USA to finish it, and also I will start a second degree on Social and Cultural Anthropology. Looking forward to travel around the world as much as possible, I'm specting to get a scholarship to Japan, and probably this summer I will go to France to practice my oxidated french!! Get ready for Yolinda, France!!!! Woa ha ha!!

Let me spread my wings, I'm trying to catch the entire world in a lifetime!!

Friday, April 07, 2006

Dulcinea

I would like you to know who Dulcinea is, that will mean that you have a large knowledge of Spanish literature... I hope so. Anyway, just in case you don't, I will introduce you: Dulcinea is Don Quijote's platonic love. In fact, Don Quijote was delirious, and as well as giants instead of windmills, he saw Dulcinea as a Goddess instead of a real and common person.

And only in Don Quijote's mind, Dulcinea was a Goddess, and his love for her was a 100% purity... but Dulcinea was actually a normal woman that Don Quijote insisted in take up to a pedestal, and that stream of love was so ethereal that she was unable to feel it. What's the purpouse on a love that you can't feel? Is it worthy when you can't live it? What is it used for to be in a pedestal if up there you feel completely alone? Where is the point when someone loves you for something you are not? If he cannot go against you even if you are wrong? Where is the joke when he always thinks you're quite right? Because the worthy love is the one of who loves you with your virtues and faults, and loves you despite of that...

I don't wanna be Dulcinea, but you insist on turning me into that, loving me virtually in a spiritual level and I can't get that love, because I'm not living in the platonic world of the ideas, because I'm a normal person.

Hence I think I feel very much plenty with the affection I receibe from my family and friends, because I know they don't see me througout a veil of divinity, because they know I'm faulty and they love the that way.

Since in October 2005 the one who used to be my boyfriend left me, my life is turning into a tv-series like Melrose Place; I live in Camino de Ronda 90210. People entering and flying away from my life dizzily; today I don't wanna lose you ever and tomorrow long absent, soon forgotten. I have wanted to be all alone and it was when I was the most surrounded by people. There was even a time when I have no time to think at all... And after a couple of attempts of let me be loved, I feel like the bad one of the movie, because at the end I'm again single and happy, leaving a heart in the gutter. I'm sorry but I warn you that I was turning myself into a lonely madwoman. I'm sorry but I warn you not to fall in love with me.

I don't wanna be Dulcinea.

Me

Stand Alone Complex

And, what is that? As well as the title of a manga series (Ghost in the Shell - Stand Alone Complex) it's a feeling that day by day, more and more it's getting over my conscience and is making a kind of antisocial of me...

The Stand Alone Complex is to feel you need no-one for nothing. You feel able to do anything you want, to achive every purpose. And it's when you sense the life is like a movie where people has no role, persons that had a name and a story by a moment but that was forgotten by the next. And people that forget you too because you're a extra character in their life aswell... Because people is superfluous, even myself. Nothing changes when one stop existing, one is born or thousands are suffering or being happy. Me is myself and in me I have anything I need. We are born alone and we die alone, the sooner we accept that the sooner we will progress in life. I don't want this to seem a pesimist declaration, because if we accept that we are actually alone, every company we share is a present, and therefore to be gratefull.

And of course I don't wanna mean that I don't need any company... It's only that the planet is overpopulated with homo sapiens, so I know that everywhere I go there will be people, and so I know that no-one is indispensable.

Welcome

Welcome Everyone!!

So finally I have my own space to throw away my mindshit in the net, thank you for entering. Just to say that I will do it both in english and spanish but of course not at the same level. Hopefully by doing this will allow me to improve my english. Corrections are welcome!! Also I want to improve my telling stories style in order to write my books, so you CAN'T use this material, it has a copyright!!