Dulcinea

I would like you to know who Dulcinea is, that will mean that you have a large knowledge of Spanish literature... I hope so. Anyway, just in case you don't, I will introduce you: Dulcinea is Don Quijote's platonic love. In fact, Don Quijote was delirious, and as well as giants instead of windmills, he saw Dulcinea as a Goddess instead of a real and common person.

And only in Don Quijote's mind, Dulcinea was a Goddess, and his love for her was a 100% purity... but Dulcinea was actually a normal woman that Don Quijote insisted in take up to a pedestal, and that stream of love was so ethereal that she was unable to feel it. What's the purpouse on a love that you can't feel? Is it worthy when you can't live it? What is it used for to be in a pedestal if up there you feel completely alone? Where is the point when someone loves you for something you are not? If he cannot go against you even if you are wrong? Where is the joke when he always thinks you're quite right? Because the worthy love is the one of who loves you with your virtues and faults, and loves you despite of that...

I don't wanna be Dulcinea, but you insist on turning me into that, loving me virtually in a spiritual level and I can't get that love, because I'm not living in the platonic world of the ideas, because I'm a normal person.

Hence I think I feel very much plenty with the affection I receibe from my family and friends, because I know they don't see me througout a veil of divinity, because they know I'm faulty and they love the that way.

Since in October 2005 the one who used to be my boyfriend left me, my life is turning into a tv-series like Melrose Place; I live in Camino de Ronda 90210. People entering and flying away from my life dizzily; today I don't wanna lose you ever and tomorrow long absent, soon forgotten. I have wanted to be all alone and it was when I was the most surrounded by people. There was even a time when I have no time to think at all... And after a couple of attempts of let me be loved, I feel like the bad one of the movie, because at the end I'm again single and happy, leaving a heart in the gutter. I'm sorry but I warn you that I was turning myself into a lonely madwoman. I'm sorry but I warn you not to fall in love with me.

I don't wanna be Dulcinea.